Thursday, March 24, 2016

feed my lamb(da)s

Hi everyone! I'm dying. School is so hard. I turn twenty on Tuesday. I get married two weeks from tomorrow. Magnetism. Second order linear nonhomogeneous differential equations. Ack. I'll get through this. Send chocolate. Come to my wedding reception*. Give me hugs.

Anyway, we are well into optics in my Principles of Physics II class. We've talked about wavelengths and frequencies and the speed of light (also talked about that in E&M) and everything under the sun that doesn't require vector calculus, linear algebra, or differential equations.

If you've ever wondered how microwave ovens don't radiate you and how the grid on the window works, but you wondered it too passively to actually open a new tab and google it, I understand you completely. We talked about how this works in my class either this week or last week (it's all one long awful week to me at this point), and it seems crazy: the wavelength of the microwaves in your microwave oven that are used to heat your food have a wavelength that is way larger than the holes in the metal screen. Doesn't matter how big the amplitude is; if they are long enough, they are going to be really bad at getting through those holes.

Another cool hypothesis, from that book I stole from my Institute director back home, connected here: God communicates with us via light, but it's light of EM wavelengths that we haven't yet discovered.

So, the point I'm getting to here is this: each of us is a metal screen. Each of us is a uniquely made one. Different wavelengths of light penetrate through us in different ways.

I was privileged to speak the Sunday before last during Sacrament meeting. The other two speakers were to of the women with me in the Relief Society presidency. Ben pointed out to me that each of us presented our talks in different ways, but we all spoke well: the first speaker, he said, was soft-spoken, gentle, really sweet, and full of love; I was matter-of-fact and laid it out like it is, gave scriptures to back all of my points, and elaborated on them; and the last speaker was "more feisty"! He cracks me up. Anyway, each of us is a largely different person, and we come together to present our talks or work as members of a presidency to strengthen the kingdom of God on Earth and "feed [His] lambs".

Most Sacrament meetings, one might feel the spirit the speakers bring, but one speaker in particular might resonate with us deeply. One might sit through General Conference and feel the spirit testify that these are the Lord's anointed and the words they speak are good, but one or two speakers will seem to speak to them personally. One might feel the Spirit bear witness of truth in a way completely different from another. Some wavelengths just might not get through our metal screen, but others will, and that's totally fine.

I testify that God knows how we understand the world and how we need to hear things. He knows who we are and He has for millennia and He will never try to speak to us in ways we just don't get. Sometimes, we don't quite seem to hear anything for a while. That's okay. He is still there, and when the time is right, we will feel the spirit and understand things again. The light will always come. This is my promise in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

I'm really tired and I couldn't find a decent picture for this post

*Do you need the details on my wedding reception? SHOOT ME A TEXT! Or email. Or anything. I would love to see you there as long as I know you and you aren't some weird internet stranger! But if you are some weird internet stranger, hi! Thanks for reading my blog! Feel free to message me anytime as well! But also understand why I can't invite you to my wedding reception. Safety issues. All that jazz. But I'm glad you're here anyway!

Friday, March 11, 2016

the confidence proportionality constant

The time spent in a physics or math class is directly proportional to the decrease in confidence levels.
The level of physics or math class (100, 200, 300, 400) is also directly proportional to this.
For example:

This is a 200 level class, physics 220. You should see the steepness of the curve for math 316.

Given the steepness of that curve, my confidence levels in my usage of the term "directly proportional" is at about 17%. I haven't slept enough in weeks, so don't judge me.

But seriously. I have found that the more a person is educated, the more they realize they don't know a single darn thing at all. I had this conversation with Ben the other day. He never lets me go far without telling me that I'm intelligent, which is much needed when you spend hours upon hours in classes realizing how little you understand at all. Magnets? How do they work? I'd go ask my professors for help, but what do I ask? I don't even know what I don't know. I might go tell them that anyway, and see if they can offer anything to me. They're all so kind here. Except that one jerk I had for a foundations class semester. What a buttmunch. But I digress.

I'm getting married in 4 weeks, so that's grand. Can't wait. I'm giving a talk on Sunday. Kinda feel the same way about both: a little excited, kinda nervous, no idea how to make either of them really work. But my confidence level in my marriage is already 200%. It's an attempt to make up for the -4700% confidence I have in my classes at the moment, but it's something.

See, having confidence in a marriage is an absolute must. There are laws that govern a successful relationship, I've found. Basic ones permeate through all relationships: be faithful, respond to your partner according to their love languages, choose your love and love your choice. More specific ones are tuned to the two partners; some people have trust issues or damages from other people that require amending the basic love laws. I think the most important law governing relationships is to eliminate the word "divorce" from the dictionary.

I'm not talking about abusive relationships or anything like that. There are times where someone is seriously damaged by their spouse and there are times when it is necessary to end things.

My confidence level is so high because I've spent a year and a half getting to know Ben. We spent time broken up and we know now that life apart like that is life not worth living. My "long" engagement (Rexburg eye-roll) has taught me about marriage on its own. For example, one law that governs most relationships is "never go to bed angry" (or early, if you have preggo-brain when writing me marriage advice). For Ben and I, mostly for myself, I have to go to bed angry sometimes. I get so worked up over silly things and I just need to go to bed, wake up, and wonder what the big deal even was. I'm grateful that I got to figure that out while I still had to sleep in my own bed in my own apartment, personal time away from my honey to wake up and realize I'm a dork.

Anyway, I kinda just started writing and a blog post about marriage came forth. It's a bit of a hot topic for me at the moment, so I'm sorry. This probably isn't very well organized, but I'm an exhausted lazy busy student so I'm kind of sorry it's a hot mess but not really at the same time because this is some silly blog thing that I just kinda word spit on kind of but not really bi-weekly and I am sorry for this tacky run-on sentence. Tl;dr I'm as sorry as a Canadian.

Kinda hoping my confidence level will go back up a little before finals, but not gonna count on it. Send cookies and massages.